haasshhh

well ok, i think it's not fair to me.. just because i litle bit fussy.. she ignore me,, or reuse me? awww shit!blody hell! that's really not fair!not at all, and that's not good1
ye, maybe or yeah exactly, she's more beautiful than me.. i know that..but... that's not the way she ignore me..
She.. i mean my friend, always look for attention to my teacher, always acts that she is better than me,,, hhaah.. that i saw.. or sorry if i'm wrong.. or think like that.. i just feel so bad! feel so upset about that.!  how come she did it to me. when she.. my friend. ask me about what i did in the class and what my teacher said about her and what should she do, what were her fault in the class, then i told her. everything. but when it turn to my performance, i was asking to her about the same questions that she asked me, and guess what, she didn't answer all the question. and that was rude i think. and soon i realize and remember what my mom said.. "never sell what u have, just buy! and i think that's right! i just fell that now.. i trust my mom.. and.. right now..
i'll never sell it!!! never ever.. how many times she asked.. i will ignore her then...

PPL

woaahhh.. long time not write here.. well i'm on PPL now.. at SMA 1 Semarang. the students are good. they are smart kids.. sometimes they listening me but sometimes they ignored me. haaah.. they're really wild sometimes...
i have a partner here.. a girl. she is gorgeous girl. and the kids like see her. i'm just ordinary looks.. so for that point i don't got them. she's not good friend i think. she doesnt or maybe never told me about my teacher said something about me. and she never help me make or handle kids. when i ask how she just ignore it.. maybe she thinks i am her foe? awwww...

when i'm so enthusiastic about teaching learning, making media n passion with the kids she is not. she like in her place, safe zone. i got difficulties when i face the kids on the first sight. coz i'm not too good looking, even after that some classes love me coz my teaching style. but some of the classes ignore me when they saw me. and i think that's horrible. someone ever said to me "never judge the book from its cover." but the fact just a few of people think that's right... fuuh... so i have look for the way so that the kids listening to me... i hope i got that ways.. 
who wanna help me? :(

Sad...

well, now i never ever again chat with Alex, and I'm feel upset about this, if i send him I'm then he wont reply my im, but he always goes on line, yeah maybe he don;t ant to be my friend anymore. i feel little bit sad because i like him, he is a good listener, i always tell my day, with him, and as long as he become a nice man, but lately everything changed, he never say hello with me again and when i say hello ,he always ignore me. he always said that he is busy with his job. or maybe he got another friend who more fun than i am?hmm.. who knows?

Good Morning

well ya good morniing..... today i wake up at 4.30, pray and make breakfast for my dad and my sister. my dad will go out the city so i have to prepare something to eat. it hard to me what should i cook coz i'm not good in cooking actually... so i just mix the vegs in the refrigerator n make them soup.and i make tofu for the "friends" xoxo. but well.. it finished, but none come to eat my dishes... they sill awake n taking a bath, hey.. i text alex again but he has bad respond to me.. uugghh.. i hate him.

Ignore me?

well i have an online friend named Alex Gee, he is from Cardiff Wales UK, he is a good man in the beginning, chat with me, enjoy the chat, always reply my im, but soon he changed. when i was on line in Skype he was on line too. then i say hello to him, but he isn't reply. well, he wasn't there i think, or he was too busy with his business, but at least he should reply my im. then when he didn't answer my im soon he'll off from Skype. so bloody hell. it's OK for me if he won't chat with me anymore, he should said it, so i won't bother him. them in other occasion, when he went online and i say hello, he change his status become "away" god damn!! what the fucking thing is that? "away"? you'd better to sign out, not away, without reply my IM,
well i won't sent him text after this. it's so annoying! i have to think that HE JUST A STRANGER.
we accidentally met on the chat room and have a good time to chat and now we don't know each other. well it's fair!think about him make me so upset, annoying and mad! huh!!!

Practice Drama

well, today i wanna tell about my practice drama today. well our drama will be presented on January 13th 2012. and it means 1 week later so we have to work hard. i am the writer, director and player. Actually i have bad relation with the players, they said i'm too bossy, and always late. well actually i have reasons why did i late. but they didn't understand me. and someone said they cheat on my back.. ouuuww... i didn't shock about that. i accept that. in the other hand that's my fault too. i shouldn't be late when we have practice drama so that they wont wait for me for the long time but actually some of the players came yet neither. well i still be the trouble maker i think. and it's OK. whatever they said. i still do my responsibility.


So the point is : never come late to doing something if you don't want to be blamed. and still... whatever people said about you.. ignore them but think it. it would be right or it would be wrong. then you decide.

Happy ending or Sad ending?

huooowww.... so which one you'll choose? i will choose the happy ending of course, making a good decision, life good and take something good after that. still hold on my motto this year, never ever trust other like i trust my parents. i think they are the best part of my life, although i ever get different mind, but i think they want make me better.. yeah i realized now after all the bad things happened to me.

well new year it mean new life. everything in the pass, just left them in the pass. whatever they are, sadness, happiness, or whatever the feeling... i will and have to forget them, so you do. hah!!
well, make some resolution, some aim that i have to take in the ending of this year, or on the month. don't make it bother your mind, write everything you want, although it makes no sense, but if you trust your dream you'll realize what did call power of mind.. well i make some wishes that some of them didn't make sense for me,hard to reach, but it's OK i think, even i don't spent any money to write them down.

so the point are make some wishes for this year and make sure you have some efforts to achieve them and you'll got the happy ending.. :)

it's a new year

woaaahh.. so what have you done today? new years party? i have an invitation of new year party but i refuse it. i have no idea whether i was right or not. if i was there everything become messy. i dont know what should i do, or i just for their joy doll. oouuugghh. in 2011 i was a weak girl, have no power n "too nice" that was not good i think. man like a nice girl, but another girls hate it. i think my girl friends are horrible. i dont know if a girl could be a monster if she want, my friends are monsters. ouuuhh.. sad to said that, but they will do everything that they want although it hurt another one. and that's bad i think. last year my mom said that i was foolish. i have to have a politic and at first i have no idea about that, never think about that. but now, after what my friends did that to me, i am know that this world is like a stage. i have a role that i have to play. and if i want the audience see me, so i have to act perfect. and now i know one thing, and i will remember it.

for girl, never trust your girl friends, because they're horrible, and there's no exceptions!!