A man I fancy

I have a friend that i drop my eyes by when I was entering this company, He's three years older than me, but he's more mature than me, Well in the some occassion but the other times he look like just a kid. He was the first one talk to me. I always no ideas why i like him, Because he was a troubesome boy, he never did his job proper, he always come late, absent without notification, lazy and act bad. and after all, he's our President Director's niece. He was warned several times by my Director but since he's a pig head, he never listening, He did everything he wanted and today, January 6th, 2016, He is expelled. Actually i don't feel sad at all, because sometimes ago he really make me ill feel with him and i think that i didnt like him anymore, I never think about him or yeah missed him. Not a single day, because i think that it's useless to think about a man that has no intention to live. Well thats my opinion. So start from today i won't see his face anymore. It's his fault, isn't he? As if he did his work better than this, at least he did his job as proper as the other or coming ontime, he won't get any trouble like this.

It's pity for him but well yeah this is a live, even he 's a Director's niece but it doesn't help at all. I ever made a poem about him, but i think my purpose will be gone before he see it. And well, it just a slice of life.

Surat Untuk Sahabat

Hari ini adalah  hari ketika 25 tahun yang lalu kau dilahirkan di dunia ini, dengan tangisan lucu yang membuat orang orang di sekitarmu bahagia. Aku adalah salah seorang yang bahagia walau ketika itu ku tak disana. 15 Tahun kemudian kita bertemu. Kau, Aku, dan Dia, Aku tak tau awal mula kita berjumpa, tapi ku merasa sangat bahagia. Aku yang tak pernah percaya akan persahabatan, aku yang tak percaya akan orang lain menjadi terbuka karenamu. Kau membuka hatiku, merubah hari- hariku menjadi tak terlupakan. Hari ketika kita menunggunya selesai kelas tambahan, ataupun hari tanpa kata ketika kita menunggu hujan reda. Suaramu, Senyummu semua terasa indah bagiku. Teduhnya kata-katamu membuatku percaya akan persahabatan sejati. Setahun berlalu dan kita bertiga baik-baik saja, Aku mungkin bukan yang terdekat denganmu diantara kita bertiga, tapi aku selalu merasakan keberadaanmu ketika ku sendiri, ketika ku menangis dan ketika aku diam tanpa kata saat aku didepanmu. Aku mungkin yang tertua diantara kita, namun aku pula lah yang miliki hati terlemah. Setahun bersama kalian, dan aku mulai terbiasa dengan keberadaanmu dan dia. Namun semuanya berakhir ketika kau miliki seseorang yang kau cintai, Dia tak suka pada kami, dia ingin kau menjauhi kami. Hal itulah yang selalu kudengar. Kau menjauh, kau tak berikan alasanmu, kau tak jelaskan apakah rumor itu benar. Sakit hatiku menjadi ketika kau ku tanya tentang apa artinya kami bagimu dan saat itu ku merasaseperti tersambar petir di siang hari ketika kau jawab "just friend". Aku masih ingat semua teman kita terdiam,dia menangis, dan kau keluar dari ruangan itu. Aku tak bisa berfikir jernih. Entah mulai kapan kau berubah seperti ini. Apa yang merubahmu. Hari itu adalah hari terakhir aku berbincang denganmu sebagai seorang sahabat. Kami telah mencoba segala cara untuk menarikmu kembali, Namun takdir berkata lain. Kita tak bisa bersama seperti dulu, kita tak boleh bersama seperti dulu. Setiap hari selama dua tahun memandang wajahmu seperti di Neraka bagiku. Kau bersamaku, tapi kau tak pernah menatapku, apalagi berbincang. Aku hanya bisa memandangimu dari kejauhan seraya mengobati lubang yang menganga dalam hatiku. Ku mencoba tuk tak peduli tapi nyatanya hingga saat ini ku masih mengingatku. Kugoreskan kesedihanku dalam untaian kata diatas kertas, Hanya ada kesedihan disana. Apabila aku tahu kita akan berpisah dengan membawa ras sakit ini, akan ku ukir semua kenangan indah yang kita lalui. Kennangan-kenangan yang tak terlupakan antara aku, kau, dan dia. Dirimu dan kenangan kita, telah tersimpan jauh di lubuk hatiku. Kukunci rapat dalam ruang senduku. Dan kubuang jauh kunci itu dari hidupku. Pintu itu kini tak pernah terbuka, dan tak akan pernah terbuka.

Sudah hampir sepuluh tahun peristiwa itu berlalu, tapi ku juga tak bisa membuangmu dari ingatanku. Aku akan terus meneruskan kehidupanku seperti biasa dengan mengenangmu setiap hariku. Hari ini adalah hari bahagiamu. Aku bahkan tak bisa mengucapkannya padamu dengan segala kekuatan dan kasih sayangku. Namun hari ini, segala doa terbaikku ku lantunkan padamu. Semoga kau menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik, Semoga kau menjadi seseorang yang lebih bijaksana, Dan menjadi seseorang yang lebih menghargai waktu dan juga kenangan. Semoga hidupmu bahagia.  Selamat Ulang Tahun Sahabatku Tersayang.

Sidoarjo, 30 September 2015

13.50 WIB

Ainun Rachmi

Just Shattered

i've been shattered with all of things that happened to me, i don't know what to do. although i want to quit from my job, my mum ask me to stay, it been so hard lately, too much pappers, to much emotions, to much bad feeling around me, and too much bad things happened to me. My GM keep ask me to do a lot of works which i can't handle, i could handle them actually, But all the works he gave to me, till when i haven't finished do the first job, he gave me another, and gave me others else. i'm sick of this. when i tell my mum about this, she told me to be patient, she told me to have positive thinking. sometimes i want to cry, i want to cry with this position, i cant handle my feeling here. last night i woke up at 3 and i've got terrible stomachache. i dont wanna go to bathroom, it just feel so horrible like im going to die.
i know i cant say that my job is bad, although it is bad. i have big responsibility, but all of these thing are not my desk job. when i enter this company, my boss say that my desk job is as marketing, and im a marketing, but now, i take, no, the GM gave me all of the fucking papers for me. its just tiring. i don't do my job but i have to take a big responsibility of it. my job is as marketing, and marketing is about looking for project and make it realization and thats it! no more and no less.
Patient, although my my mum always asked me o be patient, but its not an easy thing to do! it's not just to be patient and its over.. i hate these things.
sometimes i think that God gives me this work coz He has a plan for me, good plan for me, but when i think about it again, what is good thing that will happened to me in this office. its like a cage for me, and i just like a dove in the cage, can do nothing but stay, and when my master give me foods, i have to eat them to survive.

Day to day become annoying

Bukannya aku suka mengeluh, bukannya aku suka menuntut, tapi aku sudah tidak bisa menahan semua ini. Ketidakadilan menurutku, penindasan secara halus, aku tidak suka pada semua ini. Aku ingin keluar, aku tak ingin bertahan di sini.Lelah sudah aku menahan semua rasa sakit ini, lelah sudah aku bersikap manis di depan mereka. Mereka- mereka yng bersikap lembut namun menindas. Hari ini adalah hari ketika dendam memuncak di dadaku. Aku benci untuk mengakuinya namun akupun benci untuk menutup mulut atas ketidak adilan. Aku mengatakan ini ketidak adilan, karena aku selalu melaksanakan kewajibanku, namun ketika aku ingin dan perlu mendapatkan hak ku, aku di persulit. Adailkah semua itu? aku sudah tak sanggup menahan semua ini, air mataku pun telah menetes karena kesal. Aku tidak sedih dengan semua ini. Aku kesal! Kesal karena aku tak bisa berbuat apapun. Kesal karena aku harus mengikuti arus yang bahkan tidak aku sukai, Kesal karena aku hanya bisa diam tanpa melawan.
Aku tak tau harus mengatakan pada siapa, aku tak tau harus menceritakan pada siapa. Aku bukannya jahat, aku bukannya tidak loyal, Namun aku lelah karena hakku selalu di tindas! Saat pertama kali aku menginjakkan kakiku di sini, yang aku tahu adalah aku datang pukul 8 pagi dan pulang pukul 4 sore. Tapi apa kenyataannya? pulangkah aku jam 4 sore? jawaannya adalah TIDAK. tidak sama sekali. Tak pernah sekalipun aku pulang dengan senyuman pukul 4 sore. minimal pulang jam 6 iya!! aku kira manager baru adalah kunci kesuksesan, peduli pada karyawan, sayang pada karyawan, Tapi manager baru adalah peninddas!
Setiap hari aku memandang kalender, mengintai jam dinding, menghitung tiap detik berlalu. Pada saatnya nanti aku akan keluar dari sangkar ini. Sangkar yang mengikatku dengan rantai yang tak terlihat, mengikat rasa bahagiaku di sini, mengikat cita citaku yang tinggi. Setinggi bintang di angkasa.

Untitle

Hidup itu tak selamanya indah. ada kalanya masalah datang dan pergi, namun ada saat dimana kebahagiaan yang tak bisa terbendung meluap keluar. aku adalah manusia biasa. bersosialisasi, berteman, mempunyai musuh, semuanya normal layaknya orang lain. aku bertahan di dunia yang keras ini. tapi ada saat dimana aku lelah untuk bertahan, dan aku ingin keluar dari perangkap hidup ini. apa keinginanku? kadang aku berfikir apa yang ingin benar benar aku lakukan didunia ini. kadang aku ingin bergerak, namun kakinku seakan terpaku dan tak bisa melangkah. aku lemah. aku tak miliki kekuatan. ak lelah pada dunia ini. terlalu banyak orang yang munafik, terlalu banyak ketidak adilan, terlalu banyak permainan. aku tau hidup ini bagai panggung sandiwara, namun aku tak pernah tau bahwa setiap orang memainkan peran mereka dengan baik. Tidak ada dari mereka yang tulus, semuanya punya keinginan, semuanya punya hasrat, dan mereka menghalalkan segala cara untuk mendapatkannya. harta, kedudukan, kehormatan. mereka tak pernah memandang orang lain dengan pengelihatan yang positif. hanya ada keburukan keburukan dalam mata mereka. Hanya ada kata "menjatuhkan" dalam benak mereka. tidak ada kata " kerjasama, kerja keras,persahabatan" mereka saling sikut untuk mendapatkan apa yang mereka inginkan, dari sini aku sadar, bahwa dunia ini kotor dan aku pun harus bersandiwara. Aku perlu atau malah harus memainkan peranku di panggung ini. Namun aku tak akan selamanya berdiri di panggung ini. Pada saatnya aku akan turun, aku akan mundur dan kembali pada diriku yang semula. meraih apa yang aku inginkan, melakukan apapun yang aku inginkan.

Tuhan, beri aku umur panjang. beri aku banyak keberuntungan. aku ingin buktikan pada mereka yang memandangku dengan sebelah mata. tunjukkan bahwa aku mampu, tunjukkan bahwa aku bisa, tunjukkan bahwa aku lebih dari mereka, tunjukkan bahwa mereka bukan apa apa bagiku, tunjukkan aku tak butuh mereka dan mereka yang membutuhkanku. tunjukkan pada mereka yang merendahkan aku karena penampilanku, tunjukkan pada mereka yang menganggap aku bodoh, tunjukkan pada mereka yang menganngap aku kejam, tunjukkan pada mereka siapa diriku, seperti apa aku. Tunjukkan pada mereka bahwa mereka menyesal telah berbuat seperti ini padaku.

Tuhan, Kau tau siapa aku, Kau tau bagaimana aku, Kau tau apa keinginanku. aku mohon bantulah aku, bantulah aku untuk menjalani hidup yang keras ini, bantulah aku untuk menjalani hidup yang kejam ini. Berikanlah aku peran yang penting dalam panggung ini. Agar aku bisa berdiri tegak, Agar aku bisa menjalani hidup ini dengan baik tanpa ada penyesalan, Agar aku bahagia menjalani hidup ini.  Bantulah aku mewujudkan semua impianku. impian-impianku. karena Kau jauh lebih mengenalku di banding siapapun.

something just happened

Last night, i read an article entitle "12 signs you need resign from your job" . well, at first i think its silly, Gee ever said to me that sometimes he feel boring with his job, but because of he earn good money of it, then he stays. and i take the good point from gee's statement, that i earn good money here so i should stay, although i  dont like this place though.well, i'll try to stay,
and yeah btw yesterday (actually i wrote this post yesterday but it delayed to today) yesterday 2 of my works mate are resign, i have no idea they're resign or got dumped but, i'm regret for them, and there's a rumor that one of them quit because of me,, hey wait! what the hell is it? because of me, i event dont know what i did, Well, and someone say that the GM spoke for me, fight for me, i have no idea of that.
in fact that the office more quiet than before, oh i dont know.
i hope i win the scholarship this year and i just get out of here,, being much dizzy of all the craziest thing here, too complicated, uncomfortable mates, crazy works time (well, i'm not workaholic) and so on, so,, just stay and wait. wish me luck!

-end-

huaaaaa

see i wrote that a man that i like in office doesnt like me, he'll go to papuma beach without me,, huaaa.. coz next week i'll going to semarang, its annoying!i though he just joke around me, but its really happened. he will go there.. hiks hiks..
its not about him actually, but its because i want to see the beach, beach with white sands..
i wanna cry really, i dont wanna back to semarang, i dont wanna see my dentist,, i wanna go with him to the beach,,,!! huaaaaa

my day today

today is a bad day for me, i dont know why, but i really dont want to do everything before me. im not concentrate to my job, n do a lot of mistakes. i have really bad mood today,, arrghh, even i dont know what should i type,

Ah i was create 2 poets, although i know that they weird or even absurd, well yeah,

i want to move..
i want to be free
i dont like to be here
i'm boring like pathetic

i have a dream,
my others say that i just a dreamer,
a dreamer without a dream
nothing to do to make a dream come true

i'm just an ordinary woman,
who get shattered with this situation
i just want to get out of this cage
and spread my wings in the air

i just a stupid woman
who sit on the stupid rule
i just a roboot
who always do whatever others say

i want to be free
spread my wings high
i want to get out of my cage
which makes my wings sore

what should i do?
i say it silly
whta will i do?
i say it crazy

i will just live
to what i am now
continue this life
and hope my dreams come true...




there's another one..
tell about a man that i like, but i know what he about me

there's something different on you
i have no idea whether i see you different
or no one see your difference
but your difference is good on you

its not a big deal for me
coz i know what will going on
moreover, i'll do what i did
nothing different, nothing changing

i'll see the time
and see my fate
will you be mine?
or you 'll be anothers

its my story not yours
its my life not yours
so thats why i'll make a line
i started, and i'll finish it...

day to day

its been 5 months i worked here, keep in touch with all of my friends and become a same girl as was. when i memorized to 5 months ago, the first thing i saw when i entered this company's door was him, i was seeing him and so was i. im curiuos about him, n soon we become close, go out together, although it was with some of my friends, but its good enough i think.
today is March 5th, 2014. about 4 days ago, i heard that he will continue his study to one of a institute in this city. actually i was bit shocked, i didn't have any idea. and it was completely came in sudden. in the other hand i want to try to get scholarship to australia, and i dont tell anybody about this. no one know in this office about my planing. at first i didnt sure about my plan because of him, coz its fun being in the office with him, although there's no special thing with him, but i just enjoy it. but when i heard about his plan to go to institute, at same time, i want to move too. aarrghh its so annoying. of course if i accepted there.
ah and one thing, he's 3 years younger than me. lol, its funny, but yeah, its right.its my first time also to fall with a boy much younger than me

well i'll continue tomorrow, its goin dark now.

work

working here really makes my head spinning around! i have really silly n idiot partner1older but selfish, dont care about company! i have no idea why does she still here! she's not competance, even able. i dont like to blame! i know i can! i know, she always make me looks stupid in front of a lot of people. i know that im stubborn, but i know that im capable. aaahhh im really goin crazy here! working here,! its a challlange, but this is the first time that i think i wont able to give the best thing! a know im lack in this field, i need to learn more i know..


to be continued

Fuck OFF

This world is Bullshit!! everybody make their own life without concerning others feeling. Im working now, i'm a new guy here, and i found that there's gap between others, there's dirty play around me!. all the people just make up. they just make drama here! i dont hate my comp[any, but i hate how my friends treat me! one name, is EVA, how i hate her, she always take my Job, blaming me in front of my General manager or my Director. She's as dirty as rubbish!!! she knows that i'm better than her! much better. so that she's afraid to be fired because of me!! i cant accept that!!! i do everything to make this company come forward, i make everything that she cant do! we're in marketing anyway. i just joined with this company in October 2013, i make my journal for marketing since i had joined here. she knew it. and now she ask me to make journal of marketing since January???? which is if i count them, there're 300 quotations!! is she lost her minds?aaahhh i think i want to blow up! im getting angry! my anger is like an volcano now! she cant use me NEVER!!!! i do whatever i want! if the director  or the general manager asked me, i'll do that, but not her!NOT HER, AND NEVER!!!!! i dont afraid with her!!! im smart, i have god to help me!! when i have braid and she isnt i'll wont. i just neeed to do one thing!! do the best that i can do!! then i'll beat her! she cant control me! although i'm new in this office and in this field, i will never ever be her slave! do everything what she said. NEVER!!

and others, who just wanted to use me, i'll show them who i am, i'll show them! and they cant underestimate me again, NEVER, EVER!!!!!

yuk mari kita ngomongin graduation.kemaren tuh tepat tanggal 27 april 2012, aku dinyatain LULUS dari IKIP PGRI SEMARANG. dengan predikat cumlaude, ihirr.. walo cumlaudenya bukan yang terbaek dan gak dapet plakat tambahan. kecewa juga sih,, udh gitu cumlaudenya mepet lagi.. hedeehh...bener bener gak bener, seharusnya aku study hard pas kuliah dulu biar dapet best GPA,yaahhh,,,, penyesalan mah datengnya di belakang. nah mahasiswa mahasiswa yang cumlaude duluan nih tali toganya di pindah duluan sama pak rektor. enak juga sih, soalnya jurusannku bahasa inggris, dan giliran bahasa inggris di pindah tali toga nya itu paling belakangan, capeeekk kan tuh nunggunya, belom lagi kalo keringet keringet ni udah mengucur deras di jidat.. hehe jadi lebay dah, kan make up nya ilang semua tuh?hahaha.. yaah,, itu salah satu kelebihan nilai cumlaude. nah pas di panggil namaku bwt di pindah tali toganya, aku rada rada feeling gak enak deh, di stage sih ga ada masalah, pas nyampe tempat duduk lagi, and ku liat ijasahke, eh lho? yaahh namanya nulisnya salaaahh.. apeess banget.kemaren kemaren sih udah rada curiga, soalnya pas pembagian plakat nama yang ada di plakatku salah, pas komplain sama pihak TU, si bapak TU bilangnya gpp, aku nanya ntar ijazahnya salah ga, si bapak TU gak mau jawab,, hedeeehhhh,, setelah itu ku sms nih si ibu aku, eh malah beliaunya ketawa. nah hari selasanya which is hari ini, aku balik lagi ke kampus buat benerin nama ijasah. aku dateng ke TU, kata si bapak TU aku ke bagian BAUK aja, habis ke BAUK, eh kata ibunya di sana aku di suruh ke BAAKSI, yaudah pergilah aku kesana dan ketemulah aku dengan ibu separuh baya yang pake jilbab bernama bu Yuyun. trus beliaunya nanyain ngapain nih aku kesana, trus aku bilang aja nama di ijasah salah,setelah si ibu yuyun ini cek ke arsip, eh beneran pihak kampus salah ngetik namaku. akhirnya di mintalah si ijazah and akta 4 ku, akta 4 juga salah btw. trus si ibu baaksi tu nanya transkip nilaiku salah gak, kubilang transkip nilai ok, ga ada kesalahan, trus si ibu itu minta aku nyerahin ijazah plus akta 4 beserta legalisirnya dan aku disuruh balik lagi minggu depan, tapi suruh telfon dulu. alhasil aku bilang iya n pulang deh, kelar deh, eh cuma gitu doang, gak tau juga bakalan dikasih ijasah baru ataukan di kasih lampiran kalo si ijasah milikku salah penulisan namanya. yaudah sekarang ini yang kulakukan hanya menunggu.. udah gitu doang,, hahaha

chat friends

sebelum cerita graduation mau cerita tentang my chat friends yuah. dari semua temen chat ku, ada yang dari UK, US, Iraq,Iran, Morocco, Algeria, Cina, Belanda, Rusia, Yunani, Malaysia, mana lagi? sebenernya aku gak suka sih sama malaysian, cuma sometimes orang malaysia juga ada yg baik n pinter and menghargai indonesia juga. nah dari sebanyak orang suku yang aku chat in menurutku yang pualing baik and ramah tu orang UK, bener bener sopan orang orang nya, lebih baiklah dari orang US, kadang ya, kalo pas lagi khilaf trus salah ngetik gitu eh dia bilangnya sini weird,,, doh doh jahatnya. kalo orang UK mereka lebih mahamin kita pas aku bilang "sorry ya grammarnya gaje" mereka bilang iya gpp lagian kan english bukan first language nya kalian.. waah kalo sama orang US mah udah di depak kali dari friend list. and lagi indonesia tu bukan negara yang popular ya. kadang u si bule nanya, indonesia mana sih... jiaahh jahat bener nih.. noh mas atasnya australia. jadi harus nerangin. trus emang ya mereka tu lebih attract sma budaya kita. mereka seneng lho kalo aku ceritain tentang candi. disana gak ada candi sih, adanya castle. padahal kalo aku sih ya suka castle lah.. emang ya, rumput tetangga lebih ijo dari rumput sendiri. hahaha... kalo yang paling ganteng tu yunani. duuh beneran deh ciptaan Allah bener bener ok,dari ujung rambut sampe ujung kaki bener bener perfect.. tapi gak ngerti juga ya.. soalnya ngeliatinya di cam sih.. guanteng banget, kaya channing tatum hahahaha... tapi tau tuh sekarang si yunani itu lagi layar ke asia sih,ga ol skypenya, ngasih no hp gak bener lagi dia,, hedeeehh.. udahan ya, ane ngantuk nih, publish dulu ntar besok di edit lagi udah jam 00:07 nih, ntar besok pagi kan mau ngusur si ijasah yang salah nama. okay.. see ya :) xx

new chat friends from China n US

Baru dapet temen baru nih, yg satu dari china yang 1 dari US. dua duanya ok lah face nya, ganteng,, cuma duuhh attitudenya, yg dari cina bener2 sarcastic!! masa dia cerita pengalamannya makan otak monyet?duuh ni orang gila, berasa mau muntah pas dia cerita!dan fact kalo orang cina tu sadis bener! emang yah turunan PKI sih. its ok lah kalo si monyet ntu udah mati, kejemnya lagi, otaknya diambil dari monyet yang masih hidup, otomatis lah si monyet itu struggle, ya ampun jahat banget, aku serasa mau nangis pas ngetik ini, aduuh, miris hatiku, liat ayahku hunting tikus aja aku gak tega, nah ini bayangin monyet idup di ambil otaknya, apa mereka gak peduli sama rasa sakit yang di rasain si monyet, monyetkan juga makhluk hidup yang bisa ngerasain sakit.. bener bener biadab tuh orang cina. ini bener2 orang cina dari cina ya, bukan orang cina yang stay di indonesia. eh dia bilang suruh aku nyobain otak monyet lagi, naudzubilamindzalik jangan sampe deeehh,, haram boo. trus si orang asli dari cina ini bilang, paling enak otak monyet, kalo otak kucing gak enak n lagi kecil kalo otak babi oke . ya ampun nih orang bener2 setan!!!jahat banget! buat aku yang cinta animal, aku rasa itu bener bener biadab n gak berprikemanusiaan.ahhh i've got goosebumps!!! and more the US man, he's sooooo damn weird. dia gak pnter ngobrol, bener bener gak asik buat ngobrol. dia tuh nocturnal kali, soalnya sekarang kan malem nih di sini, nah disana pastinya pagi, dan dia chatnya jawabnya lamaaaaaa n pendek2, bener2 ga asik, so far i never get a real good friend for chatt..ah ya sudahlah, soal si orang cina yang namanya aku lupa, aku mau remove friend aja deh, aku ngeri tiap dia ngomong, bener bener gak klik sama feel ku. okay next threat aku amau cerita soal graduationku yak :). regard

my students came

yesterday, some of my students came from boja to visit me. well, although they just six, but it makes me happy. coz i think they showed their love by that. they gave me 2 veil and 2 brooch too. i didn't see it from their price, but i saw it from their love to me. they asked me why i didn't teach them anymore. they told me that they wanted to be taught by me again. but i just could stare them and said "sorry i cant" that was so hurt for me. actually i wanted to teach them again but the condition didn't tell me that. have i told u why i resign? have i posts somethin about that? if yet, i'll post later. well, yesterday, i gave them spaghetti to their breakfast?hahaha.. well they liked it, although it tasted little bit spicy. we went to mall then, i accompany them to shop, buy some accessory. they bought necklaces, hairband or just rings. i didn't treat them anything, well coz my money was spending for the food, drink, and snack for them. i haven't got a job yet, so i just have little money. but actually, i am really happy to see them visited me here-in my house.

i hate

the one that i hate the most is when my mum preach to me! that is so annoying. its just like show how bad i am. and its so awful to me, if i'm a bad girl, i dont want being preached. she just dont know what i want. she always thinks that everything i do is all wrong. i dont like hearing all her words, i just want she get closer to me, know what i want, know what i need. but she doesnt know all that one, make me uncomfortable when i near her. coz everything i do are wrong. EVERYTHING! then, what should i do? her approachment to me is totally wrong! i am 22 and walk to 23 some days later and i dont want my mum to be my shadow. i have my own life, and i exactly know what i do, and what will i do. oh my god, all she do just irritate me much.i have no idea thats the sign of her love or she just press me do what she want? ah shit

Narcissistic man

well night coming and i awake and cant sleep again. so i'd better to write  i think. mmm... i wanna write about a friend of mine. he's the one that asked me write a poem some days ago. his name is Mark. i think, something's wrong in his head, i have no idea that he always think that he's so handsome, he is the most handsome in this world, OMG, ya i have to say that he's handsome, but i think he's not the most handsome man in this world! yesterday, he said that he must be my favorite person in this world, because he's handsome, then i said no, i said that he isn't my favourite person. i have my favourite person, then he said that i was lying. oh my god! whats wrong with his head actually? he really made me laugh! i have no idea why he though that he's the most handsome in this world!! i think that's a illness?lol, i think he has prince syndrome!he's so narcissistic and i start to not like him...

another poem

okay, i've post my poem, and i'll post another one. actually i have a lot, i write them since junior high school, or i can call them rhyme, coz its like i tell through a pen. i think i'll write them here.. someday.. haha..
ah, and this poem is bit short, different with before, which is quite long. aand, i have no title yet for this one. but enjoy it :)

There’s much love of you

That i ever see

But do you know i’m in blue?

Coz you’re too fancy to me

I want to hug you tight

But one i stand just held my head high

Fall in the deepest sorrow

And nothing i can follow

There’s another love another time

Said you’ve found something worthy

You never be mine

That’s make me so slightly

Every people know my feeling
And I'm sure so do you
But one I know you never thinking
About me and you

It is just a poem
 

poem

long time don't write, miss this pages a lot, although some posts here, or mamybe all posts here arent useful, hehe,,
well, yesterday, a friend of mine who is a Greek asked me to look for a poem, its for his friend.. and his friend asked him to find it for his gf, thats weird huh?bit complicated. he asked me to find a poem about body smell, its kinda weird for me, body smell? i can't find it exactly. so i decided to write it. it need a bit time and some of those words i picks from jason mraz's song, andy williams' song and sketer davis' song. and of course i use my word too. i have no idea if it good or not,  but well i've got tried at least. i'll post it, i hope you like it, and i have another one too, its mine, originally my words, i'll post it after this poem. enjoy :)
ah. her name is maria.. so i put her name some in this poem
 

Just you

You re one in constellation

Shining bright of the night

Dancing as a cosmic star with no hasitation

Shining bright among all lights

Oh Maria

You are my illuminating anchor

Crashing waves and breaking thunder

Second of none oh Maria

There are no words in the world

Which cant describe you maria

Your body, your beauty, everything worthy

Like my love to you... oh maria

You are the sweetest story of my love

There never be another love another time

You come and fill my heart with your love

You fix my life and make it all fine

Dont know when it begin

You show how great a love can be

You show the sweetest love i ever see

No lie but truth you give to me

A love of mine

There no own but one

Without a doubt we will fine

Endless, eternal, just like a shine

The sun will stop shining

And the sea rush to shore

But that are not the end of the world

It just ended when i lost your love... my Maria

haasshhh

well ok, i think it's not fair to me.. just because i litle bit fussy.. she ignore me,, or reuse me? awww shit!blody hell! that's really not fair!not at all, and that's not good1
ye, maybe or yeah exactly, she's more beautiful than me.. i know that..but... that's not the way she ignore me..
She.. i mean my friend, always look for attention to my teacher, always acts that she is better than me,,, hhaah.. that i saw.. or sorry if i'm wrong.. or think like that.. i just feel so bad! feel so upset about that.!  how come she did it to me. when she.. my friend. ask me about what i did in the class and what my teacher said about her and what should she do, what were her fault in the class, then i told her. everything. but when it turn to my performance, i was asking to her about the same questions that she asked me, and guess what, she didn't answer all the question. and that was rude i think. and soon i realize and remember what my mom said.. "never sell what u have, just buy! and i think that's right! i just fell that now.. i trust my mom.. and.. right now..
i'll never sell it!!! never ever.. how many times she asked.. i will ignore her then...